Game? 8: Full Code Medical Simulation

Full Code Medical Simulation is arguably not a game, it's a browser-based thing that purports to be a real medical simulation tool for real medical professionals. Medical Professionals... like me! EMS Report: Send in from urgent care via private vehicle. Triage Nurse: 29-year-old male send to ED from urgent care with abdominal pain since yesterday. +nausea, no fever.

This patient's life is in my hands, unfortunately for them.

The reason I'm playing this is that they've put in an AI chatbot so you can have a conversation with the patient, like so:

The AI patient remains unconcerned even when informed that I'm not a real doctor.

Patient: Thanks for seeing me today: Me: What the fuck is wrong with you? Patent: I'm not sure what's going on, but my stomach really hurts and I feel nauseous. Do you have any questions for me? Me: Do you think I'm a real doctor? They just let me in here. Patient: I don't know, but I'm just here because my stomach is hurting. Can you help me with that? (Note to medical professionals - this means you can tell your patients that you're not a real doctor and they will respond with nonchalance). Me: What did you eat? Patient: I haven't really felt hungry, so I didn't eat much. Just some regular stuff before the pain started. Do you think that could be causing my symptoms? Me: Regular stuff like what? What's the last thing you ate? Patient: Um, I think it was just a sandwich or something, I'm not really sure. Do you have any idea what might be causing my stomach pain? Me: WHAT WAS IN THE SANDWICH Patient: I think it was just turkey and cheese. Sorry, I'm not really sure about all the details. Can you help me with my stomach pain? Me: YOU ARE ALLERGIC TO TURKEY Patient: No, I don't have any allergies. I'm just feeling really uncomfortable right now. Can you tell me what might be wrong? The interface is indeed for medical professionals, I guess this is why lesser people need to go to medical school.

How do doctors do any of this?

Me: Has your bowel been making sounds? Patient: Yeah, I think so. My stomach feels weird and noisy sometimes. What do you think that means?

Ah-HA! His LLQ is fucked up!

Me: I think your LLQ is fucked up. Patient: I'm not sure what that means (You and me both, buddy!), but my stomach really hurts. Can you help me figure out what is going on?

Where's the goddamn X-Ray machine?

Time to order diagnostic tests to get to the bottom of this! Nurse, let's do a Doppler, Urinalysis, Urine Tox Screen, and X-ray his chest and pelvis, feels like the stomach is somewhere in between those. Cool, you get actual X-ray images to look at!

I can see inside him but where's his stomach?

I don't see a stomach on either of these.

Things are looking grim for the patient. I try to talk him through the diagnosis. Me: I don't think you have a stomach.

"Can you help me, please help!" I'm already tired of all the whining and it's only my first patient.

Patient: I definitely feel pain in my stomach area. Can you help with that? Me: I want you to throw up to prove you have a stomach. Patient: I really don't want to throw up, but I do feel nauseous. Can you help me with my symptoms? Me (Typing with a surgeon's precision): Please true. Patient: I'm not sure what you mean. My stomach hurts and I'm feeling nauseous. Can you help me? Me: Please try to throw up. Patient: I really don't want to do that. I'm just hoping you can help me with this stomach pain instead.

Me: Think of gross stuff. Patient: Um, I guess that might make me feel worse. I'm really just hoping for some help with this pain in my stomach. Can you assist with that? Me: Go 'BLEUGH'. Patient: I don't think I can do that. I'm just feeling really uncomfortable and hoping for some help with my symptoms. --- Oh wait, his pain is on the right side. I might actually know what this is.

Time to head to the OR my friend!

Patient is hereby ordered to have his appendix removed. Hopefully the surgeon has a better idea than I do of where that is.

The patient returns from surgery and I get a score telling me how well I did.

Given my actual level of medical knowledge combined with the level of effort I put into this, this is a frankly incredible score.

I'm frankly not sure why it's anywhere north of 10% unless 'not killing the patient' gives you a whole lot of points, let's see if I can figure out the math here.

What is Unnecessary vs. Neutral doing here?

What do you mean consulting with the Gastro-guy was unnecessary, this was stomach pain!

OH! My score was good because I fucking actually got it right - HE ACTUALLY HAD APPENDICITIS AND DR. PLAY ALL THE THINGS, M.D. OVER HERE KNEW HOW TO HANDLE IT Being a doctor is easier than getting to the top row in Breakout, I know that much.